So, I went live on my Facebook page (@farindoranfitness) earlier this week about a topic that DRIVES ME NUTS!
Here is the back story:
I host challenge groups every month where we focus on getting to a healthier us. We post recipes, tips, motivation and most importantly, we are there for SUPPORT! The thing about joining a group of people that want to be healthier, is that you are admitting that you want to change. Sit on that for a second. Someone was BRAVE enough that they admitted to wanting a CHANGE in their life. That is not easy.
The other side of this is that people tend to get HAPPY when they start taking care of their bodies. They start to CHANGE. They realize that they CAN do this. Being apart of these groups and seeing the change in people, in their smiles, their posts, their outlook on life and this whole journey is AMAZING!
As positive as these people are – there are negative people that love to put their two cents in everything. These people can’t stand to see other people loving their new found happiness. You may be one of these people and that is ok – BECAUSE – I am about to tell you WHY YOU NEED TO PUT A SOCK IN IT!
- People who joined in on this journey did so for a reason. You don’t know the full extent of that reason, so no, it is not your place to say something to them about their weight loss, their happiness or anything about their change.
- People who start to lose weight, even thought they LOST weight, they are still uncomfortable. It takes a lot of TIME to start loving your body again fully. Yes, they love their body but it’s process. Be patient and understand this process.
- People who start to care about what they eat are simply caring about THEMSELVES. Again, THEM – SELVES. Read this slower if you need to – T.H.E.M.S.E.L.V.E.S – it is about THEM. Not you. You are not a victim because they don’t want to eat the store bought 1,000 calorie semi-flavored cake. They are NOT trying to offend you. They are simply, AGAIN, doing this for THEM-SELVES. Got it?
- People who take time to workout — again read the ABOVE ^^^ statements. This is about THEM. So, no they don’t need you telling them that they don’t need to workout, “you look good already.” Yea – it obviously isn’t about that. If we all felt like we “looked good already” then none of this would matter. But to be honest, the challenge groups start off with people wanting to get more fit, get skinnier, lose a couple pounds, whatever the case may be. But as that starts happening, people start to want to just be healthier. And that is the moment I get so PROUD of these people.
- They are HAPPY. Leave them alone and just be happy for them. If you can’t be happy for someone who is happy then you need to take a moment and reevaluate yourself. #sorrynotsorry
- These people had a GOAL. Remember a time in your life when you had a goal and you wanted it more than anything. Was it making a sports team, getting good grades, getting a new promotion, running at a new personal record, making a certain amount of money… or was it a simple goal? It doesn’t matter what the goal was. You had one. At one point in your life you had a goal. Maybe you didn’t make it there but you had one. So now look at this person who is wanting to be better, they have a goal, they are starting to reach it. GO THEM! Reaching goals, especially as you get older, can get harder and harder. And people need support. So be the support, not the let down.
- People are taking time for themselves. People have kids, they have lives, jobs, families, sometimes second jobs and NOW they are wanting to make themselves better. Respect that. It is hard, it is not easy, it takes sacrifice. AGAIN, RESPECT that!
- People LOVE food. I needed to say this one because I am a FOOD LOVER! It makes me happy, I crave it, it relives stress and that is why I was once overweight. So the moment I found a balance with food, I felt at peace, I felt strong and I felt IN CONTROL. So, you DO NOT need to tell someone they should “eat two cookies, you can use it.” Again, let’s have a reflection on this. WHO THE H*LL DO you think you are saying that?
And I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you just didn’t know why you needed to put a sock in it at that moment. That is ok – but moving forward…… Food is a struggle. It is like a drug. It can heal you and it can weaken you. So don’t tell people what they can eat more of and what they can’t. They know this already. If they didn’t know this, they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing. Can you eat in front of these people? YES. But should you push things at them like they are “too skinny” and need food? NO! Should you judge them? NO! So let it go, go eat your own cookie, be happy about it, own it and MOVE ON.
You CAN be apart of the change. Your friend, your co-worker, your neighbor, your dog walker… whomever it may be…. Them changing proves that it CAN be done. Is that a scary reality sometimes? YES! Absolutely!
But here’s the thing… you can do it too! So while you are putting a sock in it, think of this….
“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
So when you change, you aren’t changing who you are deep inside, you are just wanting to be better, wanting to be a healthier you and that is OK. Change is the most human thing you can do.
So to end this…. if you see someone “changing”…. it is human to be jealous, it is human to want to say something, it is human to want to change too…. and you CAN. Join them. Join this person in their happiness… and if you just CAN’T join them.. SUPPORT them.
We could all use a little more love and support in this world!